i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
