i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
