S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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