I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize