I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
