Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
