How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
