So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
