I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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