This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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