I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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