Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
