They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
