I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
