Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
