Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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