I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
