piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize