and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
