So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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