you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize