You can't motorboat a personality
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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