Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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