We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
COCAINE IS GR8
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize