The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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