You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
