this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
