i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
