he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
