Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize