my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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