Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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