I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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