He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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