Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
