If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
