If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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