This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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