I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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