you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize