:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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