Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
