He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
