i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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