So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
