I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
