Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize