I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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