How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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