i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
