I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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