He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I need a beard to bite.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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