So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
