So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize