Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
