i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
