she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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