Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
