I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
