you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
