the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
