I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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