he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize