Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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