3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He? As in you personified your dick?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
