whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
