theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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