i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
