booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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