In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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