I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
