Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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