she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize