he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Your dad touched me again.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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