I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I need water and some morals
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
