CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Randomize
