spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
