Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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